19/01/2008 My Brother's Wedding
A friend once told me that there were really only 3 significant moments in a Man's life. A Man has no real control whatsoever over two of them, but
has complete control over the third. The first two are his birth and his death, the final; his wedding.
No doubt about it, getting married is a big deal. But getting married in Nigeria, that's on another level entirely. There are just so many hoops to jump
through that you can't just help but wonder why anyone would want to go through the process in the first place! Just remember that "getting
married" is just the first hurdle of what would hopefully lead to a peaceful and propsperous life-long comittment. Once you can put that into
perspective, you should be able to find all the justificaiton you need to take those first brave steps!
This is Nigeria; a very multi-cultural country and when it comes to marriage we're still very rooted in tradition and customs. I hope i'm speaking for the
younger generation when i say that we would all love it if things were much simpler, you know, drive down to a Nigerain version of Vegas with a
family members and a couple of friends, say your "I do's" and take-off on your honeymoon. But let me re-iterate; this is Nigeria, we have our customs,
and before you can be recognized as a married couple in Nigerian Society you must face these customs.
Jumping Through Hoops
The hoops you must jump through before you say your "I do's" differ from tribe to tribe, but they all generally fall under the same major categories.
It was only when my brother got married did i get to learn the details of each of these procedures and the full financial, societal,economical and
emotional weight each carried. The 4 major steps are summarised below:
The House Knocking, this is the formal introduction that follows choosing your soul mate and future bride.
The groom and his family visit the bride's family bearing traditional gifts such as alcoholic drinks and food stuffs. The main aim of this visit is to bring to
light the fact that the groom has developed an interest in one of the daughters of the family and would like to ask for her hand in marriage. Once the
negotiations care complete and the family of the bride give their consent, the journey starts. Now both families are fully aware of what is to come and
the responsibilities they share.
The Court Signing, this procedure is more for political reasons. The signing procedure is a form of
registration so that the state recognises the both of you as a legally married couple. Proof of legal marriage takes the form of a signed certificate that
can hold up for example when trying to apply for a Visa. Some couples choose to do this just before going for the main wedding, others do it ages
before. I had the privilege of attending my cousin's court signing to be his witness, he did this a while before the actual wedding.
The Traditional Wedding, this procedure is for cultural reasons. This wedding is a throwback to old
customs and traditions but remains pretty similar to the western-styled white wedding ceremony. The dress code for such a gathering is full
traditional attire that reflects the nativity of the bride and groom. Typical events include cultural dancing, breaking of Kola Nut, feasting, and the
identification of the bride amongst a train of veiled women or searching for the groom amongst the crowd of attendees.
The White Wedding, this procedure is for societal (and religious) reasons. This particular wedding mimics
the western style ceremonies and is usually held in a Church. The couple follow the routines of saying their vows and the Pastor consercrates and
blesses their marriage as a holy union. Afterwards a reception is held for friends and families to feast, drink, dance and have fun.
Chapter I: The Road to Holy Matrimony
Chapter II: The Traditional Wedding
Chapter III: The White Wedding
Chapter I: The Road to Holy Matrimony
My brother and his wife met at university and just happened to keep bumping into one another at later stages in life. They finally found themselves
together at work and that's when sparks started flying. Before anyone knew it, they were engaged. After the informal family introduction and they
both got the consent and blessing of their parents they proceded with the house knocking. Unfortunately
i wasn't around to attend but from hear-say it went well. The terms of the union were negotiated and both families came to an agreement.
Chapter II: The Traditional Wedding
Saturday 11th April, 2009
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"pic1 - brothers and a family friend of the groom"
"pic2 - the groom admiring the dance steps of his bride"
"pic1 - brothers of the groom posing like the big boi's they are"
"pic2 - one big happy family; the kids are becoming the adults"
Chapter III: The White Wedding
Monday 13th April, 2009
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"pic1 - the groom leading his bride back into the Church"
"pic2 - the best man with the groom's men; CEO's of major coorperations"
"pic1 - the best man with a family friend; don't they make a cute couple?"
"pic2 - the bride and groom on their way to their reception"
© Copyright 2008 HexGEAR Studios